Saturday, May 1, 2010

You said that I was transparent

"I Am Neither A Sacrilege Or A Privilege. I May Not Be Competent or Excellent, But I Am Present." by Leo Buscaglia
My Happiness is me, not you.
Not only because you may be temporary,
But also because you want me to be what I am not.
I cannot be happy when I change
Merely to satisfy your selfishness.
Nor can I feel content when you criticize me for not
thinking your thoughts,
Or for seeing like you do.
You call me a rebel.
And yet each time I have rejected your beliefs
You have rebelled against mine.
I do not try to mold your mind.
I know you are trying hard enough to be just you.
And I cannot allow you to tell me what to be -
For I am concentrating on being me.
You said that I was transparent
And easily forgotten.
But why then did you try to use my lifetime,
To prove to yourself who you are?

Thomas Merton

You cannot tell me who I am, and I cannot tell you who you are. If you do not know your own identity, who is going to identify you?

Chinese Poetry from the Beginning Through the Sixth Century
Trying the Empty Nothing and demanding something.
Banging the Silent Zero in search of sound.


I have books full of quotes from books. In the last decade, I have taken to folding several sheets of 17 x 11 inch paper and using that are a note book of sorts. I copy all sorts of things. I copy things that make me understand myself, things that explain theories I have, things that I find beautiful.

Before the interwebz, I watched "Wings of Desire" with the subtitles on. I paused the video tape each time the dialog shifted and I transcribed the dialog. Even though I am a poly-atheist doesn't mean that I cannot see beauty and the profundity of the human condition. My hand written notes are a sight to be seen. They are a thing of beauty. 

My handwritten notes proving gods do not exist.

I have been very sick for the last two weeks. When I am sick, I have a hard time continuing to do the things I normally do in a day. I have given up housework, making food, leaving the house unless necessary. My blog has suffered by lack of reflection on my entries. Please stick with me as I get better.

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