Sunday, March 7, 2010

Fish in my dream (wedge)

This is the strangest book I found. It starts off as a letter to myself. Then I record three days worth of dreams. There is no analysis, only the facts. This represents my tendency to start and then stop doing things. My children can attest to this annoying trait in me.

Dated Monday April 27, 1987

Dear Sue,
I've been meaning to convert this book onto a dream/journal/thought/struggle book for a few days now. Having listened to Phebe Hanson read excerpts from Eugene Delecroix's journal/diary I am inspired to do just this. I want to assure or make a contract with myself to write only for myself. I want to write with total honesty and not think too much about what I am putting down on these pages.

I woke up this morning with a vague work/refresh/vibrant feeling - could not have been from lots of sleep - could only have been from a dream. The only thing I can recall is a wide hallway with light (white?) files lining the walls.

Feeling happy today. Feeling like I want to and must live up to my responsibilities. Feeling like I want to do the best I can because I am worth it. Sue, you are a good person. I love you.

I did well, finally for Herb Grika, in imaginary architecture. He wanted us to experience astro-projection. I could not visualize anything but plunging and rising in the water. He wanted us to fly too fast - 10 seconds to California! He has got to be kidding! I think I might try some of the same technique to experience something - vague feelings on what I can possibly experience - but do it so that it is possible for me to do it. I don't know, maybe it's just silly - well - maybe it's not for me - but just the same.

Dated Tuesday, April 28, 1987

DREAM: A horse head in the back of pickup truck appearing to float above its missing body. The truck is in a junkyard full of trucks like itself.

Dated Wednesday, April 29, 1987

DREAM: Building like window broken many stories high.

Dated Thursday, April 30, 1987
DREAM: Dog; man hole covers, things partitioning of the work area; the dog was like the kind on Orphan an earlier dream that flashes back to me...I was laying next to this handsome dark-haired man. His shirt was off. I laid down close to his face, near his shoulder at his suggestion. We kissed slowly, nicely. Later (after not doing much else)Cris walked in the door. I covered up my body (Not Naked mind you) with a snoopy sheet. Cris angrily took me home. Another part of my dream...Wedge car, driving Aunt Mary to the corner, she got lost. I see her outside crawling in the dirt. I go to a store. It is identified as Grantsburg County Store. I am confused. I am not in Grantsburg. There is more to this dream but the thoughts are rapidly escaping me. Driving to school I remember another part of my dream...Standing, crouching outside of Julie's bedroom - listening to her conversation with herself. I have the room bugged. A crowd of people around me are applauding and congratulating me for my act. I am ashamed. I stop.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting how the dream that made you feel happy and energized represented nice neat file cabinets where everything was tucked neatly away in an organized fashion. The disembodied head was a bit unsettling. You are still "in your head"/cerebral but see the kind of organized disorder around you. Even in dreams you seem more comfortable as an outsider looking in, not getting all messy with intimacy, but still ashamed of that, too. Fascinating complex and intelligent mind.